Passing Notes with the Cullens and Bella!
by Jaspersonlymistress
Summary: I think the title pretty much sums it up!
1. Notes are funny

**Hello! This should be fun.**

**Edward-Bold, **Bella-Regular, _Alice-Italic,_ Jasper-Underlined

ALICE!!! THIS NOTE WRITTING STUFF IS FUN JUNK!

_I told you! Why are you writting in all uppercases?_

I dont know.

**If I might cut in why are you doing this again?**

Let us have our fun Eddy!

_Yah Eddy!_

**Dont call me Eddy!**

_Tell Edward to let me call him Eddy Jazzy!_

Just let her do what she wants please!

**No I will not let her do what she wants!**

Growls Edward!

**Fine! But only because your scary. Shivers**

_Yayyy!!!_

Yippeee!!

Alice wanna have a sleepover tonight?

_Sure! We could write more notes!_

And go to McDonalds!

_Yes! Totally!_

Am I not Included?

Of course you are!! But Eddy's not. He's going hunting. pouts

_Aww...But you have me your Bffltyci._

So true!

**Bffltyci?**

Best Friend For Longer Than You Can Imagine. Dah Eddy! Slaps Forehead

_You really need to learn to speak Balicese._

**Umm...?**

Me and Alice's Language.

(The Bell for the end of the day rings and Bella goes home with alice after calling Charlie)

**A/n Sooooo...??? What do you think? Please Review!**


	2. Mc Donalds and Tina

Chapter 2

A/N-Ok so this is them at Mcdonalds after school.

Bella, _Alice,_Jasper,_**Rosalie,**_

ALICE!!!! Look Tina the straw wrapper fell on the floor!

_Oh no! This is NOT OK!_

Tina the straw wrapper?

_**Yes please explain.**_

Pfft. It is only the cooliest device ever. Its a straw wrapper. And Charlie said I had to show him more responsibility so I am pretending this is a baby.

_Yeah Jazzy get with the program. Mines Loranzoo._

Loranzoo? Alice are you felling ok?

_Yeah just fine. eww...Loranzoo made a stinky._

_**Wow. Um...I will name mine to I guess. It will be Joey the 5th.**_

You three never cease to amaze me. But I will go along with this too. Mine is Jalice.

Jalice?

Yes Bella, Jalice. It is a combonation of me and alice's names. 

_**So is it a boy or a girl?**_

Umm...let me check...a gurl:o)

_Jasper you did not just seriously check to see wether or not that straw wrapper was a girl or boy right?_

Mayyybee..

Wow...he has become one of us Alice.

_s'cuz he loves us:o)_

_**So now that the Gender of this child has been determined can we please go play in the play area?**_

Yayyyy!!

_Yippeee!!_

LETS GO!!!

A/N- Wow that was fun. ok so the whole tina the straw wrapper thing seriously happend. I named my straw wrapper so one by one the rest of my friends did it. And whats even coolier is my name is alice and I have a Bff named Edward.


	3. Leaving Tina

Chapter 3

Bella, _Alice, _Jasper, _**Rosalie.**_

-They are back at the house after playing at mcdonalds for a while-

Woohooo! Mcdonalds is sooo much fun!

I know. My favorite part is the slide:o)

_Me too._

_**Me three.**_

OH NO!! Alice I left tina at Mcdonalds up in the tubes! shock and horror

_Charlie is going to kick your butt._

Yeah, I know.

_**Not if I have a say in it.**_

What are you going to do.

_**Just let me have my flippin fun.**_

Fine. :o(

Now look what you did. Goes and gives Jazzy a hug

_Follows closely behind Bella_

_**Sorry.**_

Its ok. sniffles

What are we going to do know?

_OH! Lets go get high of pixie stix._

Yayyy!!!

_**Yippiee!!**_

Wooohooo!!

A/N-Wow..two chapters in one day. And I actually did leave my straw wrapper at Mcdonalds after all that too! I was Pissed. Anyway please Review.


	4. Of love and pixie stix

Chapter 4

Bella, _Alice, _Jasper,_** Rosalie**_

Owww! note to self: Do not snort pixie stix.

Bella, Bella, Bella, When will you learn.

_**I thought it was funny**_

_Naturally Rose, Naturally._

I think I am loopy!!!!!!

_**We all are Bella.**_

_WOoooOooo! I just ate my fifteenth pixie stix!!_

_**Fifteen!?! Alice seriously.**_

_Yep-huh._

Well I think we have established the fact we are all a little unstable right now.

Oh most definatly. Although I would like to point out the fact that ALICE IS BEATING HERSELF WITH A RUBBER CHICKEN!

Alice dear just stop.

_Stop what?_

_**Stop beating yourself with a chicken.**_

_Oh that. Fine. :o(_

Love is a sensitive emotion.

_Wow that was deep._

I dont know where that came from.

Wow. No more pixie stix for you guys.

Awww

_Noo._

_**Whyyy?**_

A/N- Wow ok so that was random and kinda sucky but I am in a sucky mood sooo. but please review. The whole pixie stix thing is kind of true. I have an adiction to them. My chorus teacher actually made a schedual so that I would gradually stop. It didnt work. :o)


	5. Hangovers and Puke spots

Chapter 5

Bella, _Alice, __**Rosalie, **_Jasper,

Ok. Remind me never to eat 53 pixie stix making myself high EVER again.

Will do.

_**Yeah, Human stuff isnt supposed to bother us but I myself have a hang over.**_

_Yeah, me too. s'cuz of the vast amount we ate I think._

Most likely. Bella you kinda look like your gunna hurl.

s'cuz I am gunna hurl. :oP

_**Eww...the human puked on the floor.**_

_I'm not cleaning it up._

_**Me either.**_

Fine I'll do it. Come on Bella lets get you cleaned up.

Ok. :o(

_**Your husband is so nice sometimes it scares me.**_

_sh'yeah, its why I loves him so muches:o)_

_**Wow. Look at him he is actually carrying her back downstairs.**_

_sh'yeah, now he's cleaning up the puke spot:o)_

Glad you girls enjoyed it. Your all just lucky I'm a nice person.

Thanks Jazzy cake:o)

Your welcome.

_**Soo..do you feel better now?**_

Oh yes, much better.

_Good for you. I think I might just puke so that I can feel better._

NOOO! One puking girl is enough. Just take an asprin.

_I Thought medicine didnt help vampires?_

_**Oh maybe if a vast amount of pixie stix affected us a vast amount of asprins will help us!**_

Oh dear God no...Bella stay here.

Umm..ok can do sherlock...WAAHHH I AM BORED.

Were back...And my name is Jasper. Not sherlock.

I know its a your new nickname. :o)

ok.

_Ok so if the prescribed dose was 2 then we have to take six? Why?_

_**'Cuz according to Jasper, Carlisle said That in order for medicine to work on us we had to multiply the dose by three.**_

Its true...after that christmas party he told me that so I could get rid of my hang over.

I thought alchohol didnt effect you guys? -scratches forehead-

Everyone has there limit's Bella.

Ummm...

_**Long story short he drank 45 beers and/or other drinks. Alchohol doesnt affect us until a certian point...everyones is different. Dumbo over here just went over his.**_

Hey I thought I was sherlock?

_No your Jazzy cake._

No actually he is all three.

-This left the other three with a weird look on their faces wich then made Bella puke again. Jasper helped her get all cleaned up again but made Alice and Rosalie clean up the puke spot.-

A/n- Yayyyy! Sorry it took me a while again. I finally am totally myself again so yeah. The longest it will take me to update usualy will be two days maybe less. Please review. Yeah...you dont want to see me after my sugar high is over. Not pretty. I never have actually puked yet. I did eat 53 pixie stix at a sleepover once though...then in the morning I _almost_ puked. So anyway Please review:o)


	6. Homer Simpson

Chapter 6

Bella, _Alice, __**Rosalie, **_Jasper,

Now finally that we are all feeling better what do you want to do?

_OoOoOoOoO! Pick me! Pick me! I know! I know!_

Ooo! ok!

_Can we play slap eachother with a red glove until some one passess out?_

No.

_AWW. Why not:o(_

Because thats Just stupid.

Your stupid:op

_**I thought he was Jazzy cake, Sherlock, and Dumbo?**_

_Add stupid to the list. :op_

Ohhh! Add Homer Simpson to the list too!

_**Homer Simpson?**_

Sh'yeah! You should now Jasper is very Homer Simpson like.

_Sh'yeah! Show's what you know:op_

And how am I like Homer Simpson?

Uhhh...s'cuz..uhhhmm...well you see... Uhggg! He just pushes my buttons:op

_I still say we add it to the list._

_**Will do.**_

Do you guys actually have a list?

_Its a make-believe list silly._

_**Oh! We have to add silly to the make-believe liist!**_

I thought make-believe was for toddlers.

Ahhhh! Take that back.

No.

_You take that back right now!_

Never.

Take it back or I will call the E.V.A.C. on you!

What the heck is the e.v.a.c?

_Must I explain...It means Edward, Voultari, and company in Balicese Dumbo! -Smacks ones self on forehead.-_

And I was supposed to know that how?

_**Its only your wife and your sisters language, you should know how to speak it.**_

Well sorry if I dont live up to your standards.

You dont. But we still love you Homer Simpson. :o)

A/N- Woohooo! Two chapters in one day! Watch out! I'm on a roll baby! So what did you think? I thought the whole E.V.A.C. part was funny cuz when I did it I didnt relize it sound like evacuation. -laughs uncontrolably for a moment until Bff Edward Helps me of the floor- So anyway...REVIEW!


	7. Dropping the cheese

Chapter7

Bella, _Alice,_ _**Rosalie, **_Jasper, **Edward**

**So you all are still doing this after a weekend of it?**

Yes Eddie kins! it is amusing. :o)

Yeah it actually is. And you better thank me for cleaning up your wife when she puked then cleaning up the puke spot.

**Thank you.**

Your welcome.

I thought you did that out of kindness:o(

_Yeah Homer Simpson! What the Heck!_

I did! He just needed to thank me...its not like i enjoy cleaning puke.

**Homer Simpson?**

_**Yeah, Its on our list of nicknames for Jasper.**_

**Oh god.**

You really missed out on a good time Edward. :oP

**I know its to darn bad. -coughs-**

_**We have a liar in the house!**_

Rose. Sorry to break it to you but were actually in a tree house right now.

_**pshh! It still has the word house in it dumbo!**_

**Hahahaha! She called you a dumbo!**

_No thats just one of his nicknames._

**Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!**

Oh shut up! At least I didnt drop the cheese!

**Oh dont you even go there!**

I thought it was cut the cheese?

_No you see one day when you were over and Edward and Jasper were making you dinner Edward didnt know how to cut up the cheese. _

_**So he dropped it on the ground thinking it would break into tiny pieces.**_

**It didnt work. :o(**

Hahahahaha! My husband is a dufus!

**Is that going to be added to my list?**

_You know it:o)_

_**Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!**_

At least its not a feminine name like Eddie-kins.

_**Are you forgetting that we also call you Jazzy-cake?**_

Yeah, But i have to go with Jasper on the fact that Eddie kins is still more feminine than Jazzy-cake.

_Hahaha! Look at Edward he is pacing around the living room!_

**I am not pacing I am simply walking out my anger.**

Same thing bro.

_hahaha! I thought you called him a bra at first! -smacks self on forehead-_

_**He does kind of look like a bra when he is walking off his anger!**_

**How do I even resemble a bra?**

I dont know but you kind of did. -smiles inoccently- :o)

**Ugh.**

A/N- Woohoo! I thought that was a good chapter. The dropping the cheese thing actually happend me and my friend were trying to cook and I couldnt cut the cheese up so I dropped it thinking that it would break! Oh and my friend Edward is here with me again! He says hi! He has also read the twilight books becuase I made him:o) So please Review!


	8. Bleeding eyeballs and green beans

Chapter 8

Bella, _Alice, __**Rosalie,**_** Edward, **Jasper.

**Bella are you ok dear?**

Would you be ok If your freakishly strong older brother flung a rubber band at you that hit your eye ball...WHILE IT WAS OPEN?!?!?!

**I guess not.**

I'm sooo sorry Bella I was aiming at your fore head.

Its ok. :o(

_Her eye is BLEEDING!!!_

_**Dont you think the rest of us can tell that to you idiot.**_

_I do not apreciate the name calling._

**Could we concentrate on the bigger issue?**

Let me go get you some frozen green beans.

How in the heck are green beans going to help?

A bag of them to hold to your eye Bella.

oh.

_Thanks Jazzy-cake:o)_

_**Bella open it.**_

I cant open it butt monkey!

_**Butt monkey?**_

_Oh just leave the Bella alone._

Ok here is the bag of frozen green beans.

Thank you. :o) Do I look ok with this thing on my face?

_**Oh yes. Very attractive.**_

Thank you.

A/N- Ok so I know this one was kinda short but I had to write it. This actually happend last night when me and my brother went to our friends house while both sets of parents were at a comedy club. The whole convo actually happend. Of course I was the one who's eye was bleeding. :o(

It was not fun. Now my eye has a huge red dot (blood) right were it hit me and it hurts really bad. So anyway pleasse review!!


	9. Spongebob

Chapter 9

Bella, _Alice, __**Rosalie, **_**Edward, **Jasper.

_Apple Bottom Jean Jeans!!!_

Boots with the fur!!

**Why are you two singing that horrid song?**

_**The song is not "horrid" you just dont understand good music.**_

Yeah. :op

**Whatever.**

_Soooo? Anyone know where the muffin man lives?_

Ohhhh! I know this one! He lives on perry lane!!

_Thanks babayyy!_

_**Why did you want to know that?**_

Pshh! s'cause me and Alice are going to go buy some of his muffins. -wonders if Rose is in her right mind-

_**I am perfectly normal. :o)**_

**Are you sure about that?**

_**What the heck is that supposed to mean?!?**_

**Nevermind..**

No. Please dazzle us with your wits. :o)

**Thanks...I was giving her an insult.**

_Hahahahahahahaha!_

Alice whats so funny?

_Rosalie is fuming!_

Hahaha! she so is!!!!

Thats not funny you guys.

**Why not?**

_**I'm going to KILL YOU!!!**_

Thats why not. :o)

**Thanks for the for warning.**

Sure. But how does that make you feel?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I get it.

_I dont get it?_

-5 seconds later-

Alice...I'm an empath!

_Oh...hahahahaha! I get it now._

**wow.**

Don't "wow" my bffltyci!

**ok?**

_**I have calmed down now.**_

_yayyy!_

Yayyy!

_**Yayyy!**_

Yayyy!

**Why is everyone yayying?**

Because silly! Spongebob is on tv:o)

_God how I love him...he is just so..so...so...SPONGERIFICALNESSISM!!!_

**Oh dear God.**

pshh! lighten up bro..its an awsome way to get entertainment...and Alice?

_yess?_

Sponge Bob will never replace me right?:o(

_Of course not sillyy!_

_**Wow..that was pathetic..even for you two.**_

I thought it was a showing of intense love and deep emotion.

you are so deep sometimes.

I know its my God given talent.

**I thought you said cooking was your "God given talent"?**

No..I lied. -Looks all guilty- :o)

_**Wow.**_

A/N- yayy! I havent gone a day without updating yet! Funny though seeing as I HAVENT GOTTEN AS MUCH REVIEWS AS I DO WHEN I NEVER UPDATE! sorry...my little rant is over...please please please review! I beg of you! Oh and for the girl who said to tell my friend Edward hi he says hi back:o)


	10. Bionicals

Chapter 10

Bella, _Alice, __**Rosalie, **_**Edward, **Jasper

_oh Oh OH!! Bella look! My Bionical is finished!_

Wooo hooo! And it only took us both 2 hours:o)

**you two sat there building Bionicals for 2 hours?**

_pshh! Heck yes...they are just soooo_

soooo...

_sooo...Bionical!!!!_

_**Wow..I thought bionicals were for boys.**_

pshhh! Shows what you know...

Mine lights up. ahaahaa! ;o)

**wow.**

_**you participated in this homer simpson?**_

sh'yeah...There awsome.

**Ok sure..**

_Mine throws little plastic balls at people:o)_

_**hahahahaha!**_

Oh grow up Rosalie.

_**pshhh...you grow up.**_

No I will not grow up.

_I'm looking for a serious relationship._

What the heck?

_Yup...I think I will choose Bella._

Alice...do you mean I am second best...?

_Mayyybayy...?_

-Jasper walks out of room-

**Alice, Bella is with me...and she is a gurl..**

_poopsie. :o(_

_**I'll be in this make believe relationship with you...**_

_Yayyyy!_

So this is only a make believe relationship...that is fake in every convincibal way?

_sh'yeah...I love Jasper at heart._

**wow.**

A/n- Sorry this is such a short sucky chapter but i am in a really depressed like mood today...the whole you think i am second best thing happend today...so yeah...anyway..PLEASE REVIEW!


	11. Apples and Oranges and the sixties OH MY

notes 11

Bella, _Alice. __**rosalie. **_**edward. **Jasper

LLLLLLLL

**Jasper why are you writting a bunch of capital L's?**

Why does there have to be a reason?

He does have a point Eddie.

_**sh'yeah he does! **_

**Ok..I was just wondering. Didnt mean to cause an argument.**

_Well you did. I prefer oranges._

pshhh! Apples are better!

_**No alice is right. oranges are better than apples in every convincible way.**_

I would have to agree with Jasper.

_If apples are better then explain why._

Pshhh. You can did apples in carmel.

And peanutbutter.

**They have a point you cant do that with oranges.**

_**Yeah, well nothing rimes with orange.**_

That was disproved. Door hinge. in your face.

_Ohhh poopsticks._

YAYYY ME AND BELLA WON THE AGE OLD APPLES OR ORANGES DEBATE:o)

Yipee!!! Woooohooooo!

_**Dont rub it in.**_

**Dont be sore losers.:oP**

_You only said that because Bella is your wife...to be._

Duh dah dun...

Why the dramatics? Am i not wanted:o(

Of course you are It just felt necassary...

Ohhh...

_**Should I die my hair?**_

**If you die your hair you can never change it back Rosalie your a vampire remember?**

_**Yeah I know Edward.**_

_What color?_

_**Brown.**_

Eww..why would you do that us blondes have more fun...no offense Bella.

_**Cuz...Bella gets more attention from guys than I do and her hair is brown.**_

**Are you serious?**

_**Completely.**_

_Its not her hair Rosalie._

_**Then what the hell is it.**_

**Her attitude.**

She is a hell of a lot nicer than you are.

_**Since when do guys like nice girls?**_

_Since the 90's Rose. The sixties are over._

_**I wish they werent.**_

_meee tooo._

Its funny what a bunch of capital l's can turn into.

A/n- Wooohooooo! That was soo funny to write. I love the sixties thats why that came in there. So yeah. Please review! I would love you for it. Some people were asking why I dont have Emmett in it. He will be eventually but I feel that the more Emmett there is in a story the more over the top it becomes. Oh and I am thinking about adding a character named Loraina wich will be Alice's best vampire friend. What do you think?


	12. Loraina

Notes 12

Bella. _Alice.__**Rosalie.**_**Edward.**Jasper._Loraina._

Alice.

_Yes Bella._

Who is that?

_Oh that is my friend Loraina. She is a vampire too._

Oh hiii Loraina.

_Hiiii!!!!_

_She was my friend in the sixties when we lived in New york._

_Yep-huh. I am a full blown sixties child. I was changed in '62. _

Coollll. How old are you? I mean when you were changed.

_15._

**She is a bad influence.**

Oh your just jealous cuz you were the only one who didnt get any from her.

**Are not.**

_**You know its true Edward...you were to reformed for her taste.**_

_-high fives Rosalie- So true. :o)_

Why is she here?

_Cuz when we were talking about missing the sixties yesterday it reminded me of her._

_So she called me and said you wanna come stay with us?_

_**And she said I have no were else to go anyway but back to my apartment...**_

**How do you know what she said?**

Its called three way bro.

umm..

_She looks confused._

I am confused...why did you think Edward was too reformed.

_Oh that.. I was kind of a bad girl back in the day. I was a dancer at a club and all that. _

Heck yes she was.

_-slaps Jasper in the head-_

I cant help that for that small 2 year period of time when we were broken up that I was with her.

_-punches Jasper in the gut for even bringing that up-_

You two were broken up? But you guys are inseperable.

_We had a disagreement about the whole free love thing._

Oh.

**Enough you guys are freaking Bella out.**

_**Hahaha. She is blushing again.**_

What is your power Loraina?

_More like powers with a capital P. When I was changed something went wrong and I got the powers of all the vampires and then the ability to give myself any power I think up. Plus I can eat and drink human food._

Can I be like that when I am changed?

_Hahahaha._

**Bella that cant happen to anyone anymore.**

Why did it happen to her?

_**Because Bella. It was the way in wich she was bitten.**_

Huh?

Think about it Bella. What other ways can venom come out of us.

Oh heck no.

_Hahaha. Yeah._

Nevermind then.

_That and I was a very special person:o)_

I can tell.

A/n- Sorry that kind of sucked. It wasnt very funny cuz I had to introduce the new character. Me and my friends one day were like if you were a vampire what would be your story. Loraina's story is mine. hahahaha. I am a bad gurl from the sixties. :o) Anyway review please:o)


	13. Chubaka and the Chicken

Chapter 13

Bella. _Alice. __**Rosalie. **_**Edward. **Jasper. _Loraina._

Wooohoooo! Who knew strawberry daquris were so good.

_Told you._

**I do not appreciate you getting my wife drunk.**

_Opps..I forgot she can get drunk._

You cant?

_Nope._

_**s'cuz she's special.**_

Yup.

_I think he still has a thing for you. -glares at Jasper-_

_dont worry honey so does every other guy I have been with._

_Okay. :o)_

**I feel sorry for you Loraina.**

_Why is that a bad thing?_

**True.**

_**STOP SMACKING ME WITH A RUBBER CHIKEN CHUBAKA!!!**_

**Who is chubaka and why is he hitting you with a rubber chicken?**

_**Chubaka is your wife and she is hitting me cuz I asked for a sip of her drink.**_

Why is her name Chubaka?

_Cuz when she first started drinking she made a chubaka noise. :o)_

_T'was very funny. :o)_

**I didnt see any rubber chicken.**

Duh. It was a make-believe rubber chicken.

**When are you guys going to get of this make-believe kick of yours?**

never.

_**Homer simpson is right.**_

_That he is. That he is._

_Homer simpson?_

_Oh yes...we have a make-believe list of nicknames for Jazzy-cake._

We will show you later.

_Spank you very much. :o)_

Welcome. :o)

A/N- I got back into my randomness again kinda. It will start being funny again. I know I am updating a lot today but I feel like writting random stuff while waiting for an e-mail from my friend from Germany. :o) Please Reveiw!!


	14. College

Chapter 14

Bella. _Alice.__**Rosalie. **_Jasper._ Loraina._

_Why so sad Chubaka?_

s'cuz Edward is gone hunting. :o(

_**Oh..so sad. :o(**_

_Any way...hows about some drinks?_

How about no I have a horrible hangover.

Teehee.

_Did you just say teehee?_

_I believe he did._

_**Are you alright?**_

Yes I was laughing at Bella's emotions right then. It t'was funny. :o)

Oh haha Jasper. -goes on small rant about how there is no privacy in her own home-

_Technically this isnt your home._

Sh'yeah it is. Charlie thinks I'm at college now 'member.

Since when?

Since yesterday.

_Coolieoooo. When do you get changed?_

Idk...soon.

Edward is sooo stuborn. I would have changed her by now.

_**We all would have. **_

A/n- Sorry its so short. I was having fun writting it until my mom started yelling at me for not turning in one assignment. I am so sick of having to be freaking perfect all the time. I want to be social and not one of those freaks who only cares about school. Whatever. Do you guys think I should title the chapters instead of having just like chapter 1 and so on. Any way review.


	15. Vicious Club

Chapter 15

Bella. _Alice.__**Rosalie**_Jasper. _Loraina._** Edward. ****Emmett.**

_Yipppeeeeee! she is one of us._

Ohhh! I feel so in the in circle.

**We are no where near the in circle.**

Dont ruin my fun or i will bite you.

_She is a viscious one. Welcome to my club. :o)_

Wooohooo! I am a viscious one.

**-smacks ones forehead-**

I am in the viscious club too right?

_Ohh yea. I had a vision of what you almost did to Bella on her Birthdayy..pure visciousness._

yayyyy. I feel so accepted. :o)

_**Well...I'm goin to go to sleep.**_

**You cant sleep Rosalie.**

_Ohh dont spoil her fun._

**By one of us did you mean she was changed?**

Dude? Where have you been.

**Hibernating with the bears. :o)**

_**Ohh dear lord.**_

**O.m.g. GIVE ME A HUG LORAINA.**

_Okeyyy Shmokeyyy! -runs to hug Emmett-_

_**Hmmphh.**_

**-runs to hug loving wife?-**

_Ohh godd._

**You two disgust me.**

I'ma go huntin for some deers.

_Ohhh I wanna come._

A/n- Sorry it took so long and sorry its so short. It has been one heck of a week this week. Soo do you guys think i should title the chapters? Please review and cheer me up!


	16. Magical Rainforests and Pink frogs

Chapter 16

A/n-For those who asked yes Bella was changed...I couldnt really write that though cuz they wouldnt be writing notes while that was going on.

Bella._Alice.__**Rosalie.**_**Edward.**Jasper._Loraina._**Emmett.**

Pink frogs are niiiice.

**Do I wanna ask you how you know that?**

yusss.

**Okayy then. Explain.**

Well. Me and Alice were running in the magical rainforest of Africa.

_And along hopped this little pink frog._

SOOO. I walked up to it and said "How do you do Mr.Pink frog."

_And the frog said "Fine. How about you?"_

Hence the Pink frogs being nice thing..

**Ahhh. One more thing though.**

_Yuss?_

**There is a magical rainforest in Africa that is the home to pink frogs?**

_Hell yeahh there is._

_**God your ignorant Edward.**_

**Ohh I see this is one of those 'make believe' things.**

No Edward everyone knows about the magical rainforest in Africa bro.

**He needs to get out more.**

_I agree._

**LORAINA YOU DONT CONTROL ME.**

_Did i sayy i did?_

**Well...**

_Hhahahahahaha the boy is stumped by his own stupidity._

omg now he is like having a seizure. hahahahahaha.

**And his own wife is laughing at him.**

sh'yeahhh cuz its amusing.

A/n- Heyyy sorry i was grounded from the computer for 8 DAYS. anyy wayyy REVIEW PLEASE. Ohhh and do you guys think i should write a loraina storyy?


	17. READ THIS

**Read This Right Now!!**

**This is not a chapter. THIS is me yelling at you for NOT REVIEWING!!!!**

**I have gotten tons of people favoriting my story but no one is reviewing any more!!!!!!**

**Therfore I have decided until I get AT LEAST 10 more reviews I am not gunna update.**

**I love you guys but COME ON.**


	18. Tina's Back

Chapter 17

A/n-Thanks to everyone who listened to me and reviewed:D Now just keep reviewing Please.

Bella._Alice.__Loraina._Jasper.

ALICE!!!!! Give Tina back.

_Fine..Loranzoo just wanted some one to playy with. :o(_

_Omg. My straw wrapper ripped in HALF!_

ahahahahahaha. That just proves right there Loraina will NEVER be a mom type.

_Dahhh. Im to bad A for that. :o)_

_yeahhh. I know._

eww...Tina upchucked on me. :op

-glances at Bella thinking 'ummm sis..STRAW WRAPPERS DONT UP CHUCK!?!?!' -

shows what he knows.

_Thats why I love him. :o)_

_S'not why I loved him. :o)_

I love him 'cuz he cleaned me and my puke spot up. :o)

It's nice to know I'm loved in so many ways.

_Your welcome!!_

_Shwelcome darlin. :o)_

YOUR ABSOfreakinLUTLEY WELCOME!!!

Wow..Bella's response totally owns yours. :o)

S'cuz I'm an evil genious..

_She is..as evil as me I'm afraid to sayy._

_Carefull what you sayy..Edward my be violating our minds as we speak. :o(_

A/n-How do you like it? Ohhh. Also, some people asked me to put Tina the straw wrapper back in so just pretend the went and retrieved her from the tubes. :o) PLEASE REVIEW OR THERE WILL BE MORE DEATH THREATS...


	19. Paramore

chapter 18

Bella._Alice.__Loraina._Jasper.**Edward.**

I LOVE PARAMORE!

ME TOO.

_ME THREE._

**I dont..stupid noise.**

-gasp- You did not just call there sweet music NOISE did u!

**I believe I did.**

You will die.

_Uh huh. Uh huh._

_THATS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN!_

Wooo OOO ooo OOO.

**shut up shut up shut up!**

_pshh. Fine grouchy pants._

haha. Grouchy pants is a funny word.

_Do I get to keep the pizza box if I order pizza?_

_We can eat so why would you order pizza?_

_For the box. :o)_

**Of course you get to keep the box you idiot.**

You could have been nicer about it.

**Whatever.**

Guys. Why is loraina grining like that? Its kind of disturbing.

_I ordered a pizza._

**Oh lord.**

A/n- Sorry it took so long and sorry its so short but hey Im on spring break. PLEASE REVIEW.


	20. sauce smothered in meat

Chapter 19

Bella._Alice._**Edward.**_**Rosalie.**__Loraina._Jasper.**Emmett.**

**My forehead hurts.**

I guess thats what you get for calling Alice fat.

_Sh'yeah..NO ONE CALLS ME FAT._

Or they get a frying pan to the head from me. :o)

_Ahahaha_

**So even Loraina laughs at me. :o(**

**Wow.**

_OMG...I have on spongebob socks guys._

Oh my lord.

**Here we go again.**

_Thanks for ruining the moment oh reformed one._

**Hahaha. They called you reformed one.**

**Says you.**

Loraina.

_yes._

I dont know i just felt like writting your name.

_kayy then darlin.._

_NO ONE CALLS HIM DARLIN 'CEPT MEEE!_

_oh calm down Alice you know im over him._

_pshh. Fine. :op_

_**wow.**_

haha. I forgot rose was even here. :o)

_**Nice to know im loved.**_

Theres a bomb under your seat...

**huh?**

I said SAUCE SMOTHERED IN MEAT.

**Oh dear lord.**

_Bella._

Alice?

_Wana go to Cambodia with me?_

Hell yes.

Cambodia?

**Who is cambodia?**

_**Its a place you retard.**_

_ahahaha. He looks so hurt._

Im gunna go make some clam chowder.

A/n- Haha. Random I know. It may be kinda suckish...but im on spring break and totally UNFOCUSED. REVIEW!


	21. Fan like movements

Bella._Loraina._**Edward.**

_Now you spin your leg in a fan formation like this. -demonstrates-_

AHHH. I get it. -tries...but fails miserably-

_you'll get the hang of it._

Okay lets try the whole rutine from the top.

-Meanwhile Edward walks into the room and is astonished as to what he finds.-

**ARE YOU TEACHING MY WIFE TO BE A DANCER?!**

_sh'yeahh. why not? she asked._

**BELLA.**

Edward?

**Why the HECK would you want to learn to be a DANCER?**

Idk. it looked fun?

**-smacks forehead-**

_s'cuz he thinks that you'll turn in to me. :o(_

WOO HOO. then id get to join the loraina club.

_Honey you joined the club the day i came here...she's already grown so much since then. -smirks-_

**OHH sweet lord.**

He's just jealous.

_sh'yeahh. i know._

A/n-Sorry its so short. ive been on vacation with my whole grade in dc. Guess what? lil old me just has to get sick the day we get there. so i still dont fell 100 so sorryyyy. This chapter is actually for I.Write.Sins.Not.Tragedies. She came up with the lovely idea. I liked it alot cuz when i made up my character loraina cuz i told you all about how if i were a vampire i would be loraina. well i could TOTALLY see her doing that.


	22. Leaving you and aids

A/n- Sorry i havent updated in forever...i had MAJOR writers block.

Bella._Alice.__Loraina._Jasper.

OMG YOU GUYS ITS SUMMER. I LOVE YOU LORAINA.

_What was that?!_

I meant alice?

_Uhh huhh. suree you did._

AHAHAHAHA. This is funny.

_umm. bella. this is a serious situation._

JASPER DONT YOU DARE EVER CROSS ALICE OR YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME.

it was an accident. :o(

_pshh. no it wasnt.:o)_

_WAAAA. IM LEAVING YOU._

_Wtf. i was kidding._

_ohh. nvm._

THANK YOU LORD.

Now that thats all good...

_PURPLE FLYING MONKEY DOGS INVADED THE BANANA._

_LETS ALL GRAB A HIPPIE AND RUN TO ASIA._

_you do know your the last hippie left right?_

_DONT REMIND ME._

Well actually...there is a new generation of hippies.

Bella is correct.

_naturally._

_sooo. I HAVE AIDS._

WHAT?!

_Ahahaha. not really just kidding._

_ohh thank god._

ohh lordie.

A/n- yet again im really sorry for not updating...I'll try to update more often...but im on summer break now...so. but PLEASE REVIEW.


	23. Secret things

_Loraina._Jasper.

Loraina?

_Yes Jasper?_

Umm. I was wondering if maybe you could keep a secret.

_Hmmm. That depends darling. Whats the secret?_

Uhh. I still like you.

_I know._

No I mean…A lot.

_Ohh. I see._

But I still want to stay with Alice..so can we keep this a secret?

_What you mean the you liking me?_

Yes.

_I think that can be arranged._

Thank you Loraina.

_Your welcome dear. –hugs Jasper-_

**A/n- Hello. No im not making it lorainajasper…just wanted to clear up confusion…unless you want me to…wich I don't think you do. So yes. Umm read and review please.**


	24. Jaspers secret revealed

Bella._alice.__loraina._Jasper.

JASPER HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ALICE?!

_Well. He didn't technicly do it to alice…he did it to me.:o)_

_I WALKED IN ON YOU TO YOU IDIOT. I SHOULD NEVER HAVE INVITED YOU HERE!_

Ok. Alice you can be mad at me because yes..i hurt you and yes im sorry but DO NOT put this on Loraina.

_Well Id just like to let you know…we're over._

-walks up to jasper and wacks him in the head with a pan-

_GURL PLEASE._

Loraina. Im sorry but im siding with alice on this I cant just leave her side now.

_I understand. Me and Jasper will manage._

Yeahh. I guess we will. :o(

_Aww. Its okay jazz._

_OMG. I CANT TAKE IT. –Leaves room-_

Jasper? Why?

Idk. Loraina coming back just..brought up old memories. I fell for her again.

Well. Jasper. I support you..but I'm Alice's best friend. I cant turn on her.

I understand.

_Bella?_

Yes.

_Are we still friends?_

Sure.

_Thanks._

Yup. –leaves to go find alice-

Loraina?

__

_Yes?_

Wanna go to my office?

_Uhh huhh. –smiles knowingly-_

Lets go.

**A/n- Sorry. I had to. –adjusts halo- well. I hope you liked it!...R&R.**


	25. Making upthe love that once was

_Alice._Jasper.**Edward.**Bella.

Alice listen to me please?

_I'm sorry Bella did you hear something?_

Alice listen him please.

_Pshh. Fine. What do you want?_

I want to tell you I'm sorry and that I sent Loraina back to New York and that I feel horrible about what I did. And that I want you back.

_I don't know if I can trust you anymore._

**Alice. He is the same man you've been with for hundreds of years. **

Yeahh Alice. Give him a second chance.

_Uhh. I don't know…fine I guess…on one condition._

Yeahh. Sure anything.

_Could we get a cat?_

Yes love.

_YAYYY._

AWWWW.

**Ok. To much love in this note. **

Pshhh.

**Uhh. Sorry?**

Sure yeah w/e.

**Were did Jasper and Alice go?**

Something about getting there groove on.

**Ohh.**

_A/n- HEYY ALL. Ok. So people were like no I hate this now how could he do that…I wasn't seriously going to keep it that way my god. Really people? Any way I hope you like it. R&R._


	26. Broadway and Elmo

Bella._Alice.__**Rosalie.**_Jasper.**Edward.****Emmett.**

PERFECT DAYY.

_NOTHING STANDING IN MY WAY._

**Why is this a perfect day?**

_Pshhh. Cuz me and jazzy cake are back together. _

_**THANK YOU LORD JESUS. NOW WE CAN BE RANDOM AGAIN.**_

Thank the lord is right. :o)

Poop sticks. :o(

_What?_

Now I cant take stripper lessons from loraina. :o(

**You don't need to be a stripper any way.**

Strippers are never good news. 

_Soo he's learned his lesson. _

HOLLY CHEESE PUFFS ITS ELLLMOOOO.

_**Uhh?**_

_OMG ELMO IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME._

No guys that's just Emmett he lost a bet.

_**BAAHAHAHAHA.**_

**Gee thanks guys.**

**What bet did you loose man?**

He said that the show avenue Q would be stupid.

DANG IT.

_What?_

YOU GUYS SAW IT WITHOUT ME? I LOVE THAT SHOW.

**Sorry love I didn't think you liked broadway shows.**

YES I DO.

_Sorry Bella…we'll take you to see RENT with us before it closes._

**This Elmo suit is hot.**

_A/n- HII. Ok we have the randomness back. WOOT. Yes I know some of you may be sad that loraina is gone but…the whinner babies kinda ruined it…maybe I'll bring her back later. Idk. But yeahh R&R._


	27. Obama and Cat Drama

Bella._Alice._**Edward.**Jasper

I'm about to pee myself.

**Bella dear. You can't pee. **

Oh yeah. =D

Obama won the Election.

_Hehe. YAYY. Go Obama._

**NO not yay.**

I agree with him. We're republicans.

And me and Alice are democrats.

**Well. I guess not everyone can be happy.**

_I wonder if he would let me run around the white house screaming IM GOING TO ASSASINATE THE PRESIDANT! Like JFK did._

Prolly.

HOLY CHEESE PUFFS!

**What?**

I broke a nail.

-begins to ponder jaspers sexuality-

_Oh he's straight. =D_

**She would know.**

Alice….I forgot to tell you.

_YOU'RE GAY!_

NOO! Not that….I got thirsty and didn't realize I bit your cat…so now it's white instead of black…and has fangs.

-shock and horror-

**YOU TURNED A F***ING CAT INTO A VAMPIRE!**

Um yes. Is that bad to do?

_-wonders if jasper will EVER learn-_

Oh I bet he will.

_I'm sending him to counseling._

I second that.

**Me too.**

_A/n- Hii everyone! =D I'm sooo sorry that it took so long. I just haven't been in much of a writing mood. A lot of stuff happened while I was gone. But I'm back now and that's what really matters. So I hope you enjoyed it. Please read and review and I promise that it won't take this long next time. =D_


	28. IMPORTANT

Heyy. I just wanted to let you know that I Made a Loraina story. For those of you who wanted one. Please check it out. =D


	29. Jasper's therapy say what?

Jasper._Alice._Bella._._

I DONT WANT TO GO TO COUNSLING!

You don't get a choice dammit!

_pshh. yeah, you've gone over the deep end. _

Stupid empath.

hey. being an empath isn't stupid. -gets all depressed-

Yeah your going to talk to a vampire psychologist.

Fine. What's her name?

_I'ts Elaine._

-Later that Evening at the psychologist's.-

wahh. I dont want to be here what if she thinks I'm crazyy?

Then she'll give you drugs. . .?

_Duh._

_Hello? Jasper? I'm Elaine._

And I'm here against my will.

_The first step is admitting you have a problem._

_haha. You got owned docotor style. =]_

hahaha. I think it's great that she goes right along with us and writting notes. =]

_Whatever floats your dont you all come into my office?_

_ooOOoo. We get to come in too?_

_of course._

YES!

_So Jasper, your an empath right?_

yes. That I am.

_So how does that make you feel?_

Is that some kind of sick joke?

_hahaha. I get it._

_No actually it wasnt. I was serious._

Well. If you want an honest answer. Usually Horny and High.

_Hm. Why does it feel that way?_

That's generally the feeling in the cullen household.

Yeah. I'd second that statement.

_Well. Is there anyway to ignore those feelings and focus on your own._

That'd be the day.

_Why do you say that?_

You dont live there. There is no having your own emotions. You share. -roles eyes-

_aww. Jazzy-cake I'm sorry you feel that way._

_Well. What If you talked about It to your family. Would they understand?_

Psh. Emmett'd laugh in my face. Laugh right in it. The rest of the family would though.

_So do you think Emmett is the cause of your distress?_

Yeah. You could say that. . .

_A/n- Hey. sorry It's been like a year but I havent been in a writting mood but I am now. =] hope you like PLEASE review._


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